i’ve always been decent at faking it. i’ve learned to speak christianese and can look pretty blameless from the outside. not so with my mentor. shes such an amazing woman of god that she can see right through my phoniness. she asks questions i can’t answer. has relationship that is so rooted in reverence and love that she puts me to shame. i’m not looking at it as some kind of righteous competition, but i can’t cover up the fact that i skimmed through the reading right before i came or fake true excitement that comes from a overjoy of god’s goodness.
that’s challenging.
i love it. it didn’t take me long to realize that what worked in other settings was not successful with carolyn. conversations were dry, short, and one-sided. it was embarrassing. i felt like running away, calling in sick, but i reverted to the contrary. i read more thoroughly and slowly, and researched so that i could somehow keep up with her in conversation. that i could show the same excitement about god’s word and truth. i did what i said i was going to do. actually prayed for her prayer requests during the week. it worked. god showed up in my time with him. and conversations have been so rich since then, some of the best and most challenging conversations i’ve had in my life. wrestling together with verses, talking about struggles, and expressing our love and gratitude toward a holy god. the result of trying to impress carolyn is transforming my heart and i am now doing it because of god’s faithfulness. i love being truly in love with my god, and am in pursuit for the continuance of the relationship that's developed with god from the relationship with carolyn. not only because i just want to impress her anymore.
for me, this strengthens what i’ve thought and what i’ve had conversations about discipline. we have to get our bodies in the right place- no matter what it takes, for god to grab hold. god used carolyn for me. we often have to take those steps on our own to meet god. he’s been here the whole time. yes. but i think there has to be an unveiling of sorts, a stepping up to the plate, but even that involves some work on our part as we emerge from the dug out.
second thing on my heart right now:
i advise you and remind myself, that you should never devalue the worth of other people’s advice. people who love you and want the best for you can often see when your hurting yourself better than you can yourself. when you’re in it, temporary pleasure can cloud your vision. they remind you that some people never change and never will. they will remind you of your worth. how much god freaking adores you, and that you can rest easy with that knowledge. the rest is insignificant.
i want people in my life who challenge me. i want people in my life who tell me hard truths. who have my best interest in mind and conscious of the wellbeing of my heart. who listen. who have the unselfish god-like type of agape love for me. i want people in my life who remind me of my worth. remind me that god is doing beautiful things to my heart, loves me when i get it wrong sometimes, but that i am still valuable beyond measure.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
no beauty could have come from me
i love color.
i prefer not to use paint straight from the tube, something a design teacher has strongly embedded in me. i love the quest for just the right combination of colors and have wasted a lot of paint in pursuit of these certain aesthetics. either i keep needing to add different colors that compound to unnecessary amounts. or because i've watched my attempts dissolve into murky browns.
the evolution of mixing paint is beautiful to watch, as either one color slowly takes over another or together compromise on something in the middle. within seconds the two colors from different worlds have made something beautiful and fresh, and what i find amazing is the limitless possibilities of different shades and hues. really. there are billions of steps to get from just one shade of green to one shade of blue. and then billions shades of both green and blue. that equals a hecka lot of color possibilities friend.
let it be known that i do not allocate this love for color to neons and pastels. i love deep rich hues. jewel tones. and even more so, i love enriching a color by supplementing it with another. complementary colors are intended to do this, which accounts for my love. i wont try to go to great lengths to describe the colors. paint companies are so good at capturing a color with a name. i really enjoy, too much probably, going to home depot and looking at samples. but lately i'm enamored with deep blues paired with bright oranges, windsor haze and vintage orange; and deep purples accompanying mustard yellows, meadow flower and bee pollen.
i've forced myself to start painting for at least 15 minutes before i go to bed for the past couple weeks. first i was obligatory working on long expected paintings for my mom, but other than that, nothing extraordinary or tangible has come out of it. but its a great discipline that is sure to produce something if kept up.
the most vital thing for me through this is allowing myself to mess up.
i am so paralyzed to even touch a canvas because i don't know what the result will be. my creativity therefore remains stagnate. ideas aren't even given a chance. colors are confined to their own paint tubes. i expect something to magically appear the moment i start, and want to give up when it inevitably doesn't. i get overwhelmed by the fact that someone else will see it and judge it, so it has to be beautiful. perfect. instantly.
nay nay fair maid. in my opinion beauty in its best form results in the passing of time. best example being nature. and the beauty and wisdom of wrinkles. its been tested. taught. worked. reworked. critiqued.
over and over i've been reminded in transcribing exodus, that god's timing is often not in line with ours. his ways are not our ways. thoughts not our thoughts. i digress.
my favorite paintings are ones that have countless amounts of layers. ones that have been worked. you can see in certain paintings that the artist literally poured themselves into it. attacking the canvas. revealing brushstrokes underneath. under drawings. scratching at the surface. i admire them.
i set out just to say that i'm currently obsessed with burgundy and mustard. and wind up with this.
i prefer not to use paint straight from the tube, something a design teacher has strongly embedded in me. i love the quest for just the right combination of colors and have wasted a lot of paint in pursuit of these certain aesthetics. either i keep needing to add different colors that compound to unnecessary amounts. or because i've watched my attempts dissolve into murky browns.
the evolution of mixing paint is beautiful to watch, as either one color slowly takes over another or together compromise on something in the middle. within seconds the two colors from different worlds have made something beautiful and fresh, and what i find amazing is the limitless possibilities of different shades and hues. really. there are billions of steps to get from just one shade of green to one shade of blue. and then billions shades of both green and blue. that equals a hecka lot of color possibilities friend.
let it be known that i do not allocate this love for color to neons and pastels. i love deep rich hues. jewel tones. and even more so, i love enriching a color by supplementing it with another. complementary colors are intended to do this, which accounts for my love. i wont try to go to great lengths to describe the colors. paint companies are so good at capturing a color with a name. i really enjoy, too much probably, going to home depot and looking at samples. but lately i'm enamored with deep blues paired with bright oranges, windsor haze and vintage orange; and deep purples accompanying mustard yellows, meadow flower and bee pollen.
i've forced myself to start painting for at least 15 minutes before i go to bed for the past couple weeks. first i was obligatory working on long expected paintings for my mom, but other than that, nothing extraordinary or tangible has come out of it. but its a great discipline that is sure to produce something if kept up.
the most vital thing for me through this is allowing myself to mess up.
i am so paralyzed to even touch a canvas because i don't know what the result will be. my creativity therefore remains stagnate. ideas aren't even given a chance. colors are confined to their own paint tubes. i expect something to magically appear the moment i start, and want to give up when it inevitably doesn't. i get overwhelmed by the fact that someone else will see it and judge it, so it has to be beautiful. perfect. instantly.
nay nay fair maid. in my opinion beauty in its best form results in the passing of time. best example being nature. and the beauty and wisdom of wrinkles. its been tested. taught. worked. reworked. critiqued.
over and over i've been reminded in transcribing exodus, that god's timing is often not in line with ours. his ways are not our ways. thoughts not our thoughts. i digress.
my favorite paintings are ones that have countless amounts of layers. ones that have been worked. you can see in certain paintings that the artist literally poured themselves into it. attacking the canvas. revealing brushstrokes underneath. under drawings. scratching at the surface. i admire them.
i set out just to say that i'm currently obsessed with burgundy and mustard. and wind up with this.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
nascent
check check one two.
in the past few years i’ve really enjoyed discovering who i am and what my past has molded me into. what may seem blatantly obvious has taken me years to uncover. previously content with who i was, not contested, not having any models, not knowing any other way… i floated along. but now i am challenged to be a captivating woman, and that longing has naturally progressed to this. i cringe at the declaration of maturing... but now this comprises of ‘introspective’ blog posts about these actualizations.
its comical.
i invite you into the places where i hide so that it might be harder for me to go back there.
people make me feel more alive. i never thought i was an extrovert. i have a tendency to retreat when i’m going through something. a genuine incapability to communicate. pride. trying to find the balance of keeping a composure in public but being allowed to be ‘not ok’ sometimes. i like to avoid all of that. defense mechanism. i thought i was an introvert because of this reality about myself. false.
i like having schemes when i’m eating. usually this involves saving the best for last. like eating the crust first. except in chicken sandwiches, in which case you save the best edge for last. good salad toppings: last. pop tarts have a very complex routine. desserts generally have a best case scenario for what bites taste best at certain points of the procedure. schemes collapse with breakfast foods. without exception, breakfast food tastes better hot. it then just becomes a matter of speed. true.
psalm 55:16-17 points to a beautiful truth. my women’s small group took on the, ‘snooze button reformation challenge,’ in which we are gleaning the truth of praying at certain times of the day and watching for god to show up. being silent to hear. and having fresh eyes to see. i eagerly anticipate the results and know god will be faithful. true.
nothing lately has been more gut retching, goose bump giving, and heart melting then catching tender glances. like the mom looking at her children. but maybe even more so, when i get the chance to see an older husband or wife look at their significant other with eyes that say, ‘i have chosen to love you every day through this crazy adventure of marriage and will continue to do so until the day i die. after all this time, you still hold the key to my heart and make it beat faster.’ the rest of the world fades away. i saw an older couple dancing to [less than par] jazz music. ok, flat out, everyone was actually pitying this couple that happened to be on the dance floor on accident when the bad set had started. but they did not hear one bad melody. one piercing note. one horrible lyric sang in a key too high. at least that’s what their eyes conveyed. sappy? true.
i redeem myself with the actualization that i value marriage too highly. this is by far not my original actualization, but agree that marriage is a lot of people’s attempt at intense community. marriage automatically, and more easily, satisfies the way we were meant to do life together. and our deep desires for that. americans really do have to work hard at intentional community but i believe everyone is substantially fulfilled by it. in different levels but overall, its in our design. i long to do life with people. marriage will accomplish that, but i’ve beginning to see that there’s more creative ways to achieve it. true.
i don’t want to have someone look at me in similar fashion one day. false.
nas·cent adj: 1. in the process of emerging, being born, or starting to develop.
in the past few years i’ve really enjoyed discovering who i am and what my past has molded me into. what may seem blatantly obvious has taken me years to uncover. previously content with who i was, not contested, not having any models, not knowing any other way… i floated along. but now i am challenged to be a captivating woman, and that longing has naturally progressed to this. i cringe at the declaration of maturing... but now this comprises of ‘introspective’ blog posts about these actualizations.
its comical.
i invite you into the places where i hide so that it might be harder for me to go back there.
people make me feel more alive. i never thought i was an extrovert. i have a tendency to retreat when i’m going through something. a genuine incapability to communicate. pride. trying to find the balance of keeping a composure in public but being allowed to be ‘not ok’ sometimes. i like to avoid all of that. defense mechanism. i thought i was an introvert because of this reality about myself. false.
i like having schemes when i’m eating. usually this involves saving the best for last. like eating the crust first. except in chicken sandwiches, in which case you save the best edge for last. good salad toppings: last. pop tarts have a very complex routine. desserts generally have a best case scenario for what bites taste best at certain points of the procedure. schemes collapse with breakfast foods. without exception, breakfast food tastes better hot. it then just becomes a matter of speed. true.
psalm 55:16-17 points to a beautiful truth. my women’s small group took on the, ‘snooze button reformation challenge,’ in which we are gleaning the truth of praying at certain times of the day and watching for god to show up. being silent to hear. and having fresh eyes to see. i eagerly anticipate the results and know god will be faithful. true.
nothing lately has been more gut retching, goose bump giving, and heart melting then catching tender glances. like the mom looking at her children. but maybe even more so, when i get the chance to see an older husband or wife look at their significant other with eyes that say, ‘i have chosen to love you every day through this crazy adventure of marriage and will continue to do so until the day i die. after all this time, you still hold the key to my heart and make it beat faster.’ the rest of the world fades away. i saw an older couple dancing to [less than par] jazz music. ok, flat out, everyone was actually pitying this couple that happened to be on the dance floor on accident when the bad set had started. but they did not hear one bad melody. one piercing note. one horrible lyric sang in a key too high. at least that’s what their eyes conveyed. sappy? true.
i redeem myself with the actualization that i value marriage too highly. this is by far not my original actualization, but agree that marriage is a lot of people’s attempt at intense community. marriage automatically, and more easily, satisfies the way we were meant to do life together. and our deep desires for that. americans really do have to work hard at intentional community but i believe everyone is substantially fulfilled by it. in different levels but overall, its in our design. i long to do life with people. marriage will accomplish that, but i’ve beginning to see that there’s more creative ways to achieve it. true.
i don’t want to have someone look at me in similar fashion one day. false.
nas·cent adj: 1. in the process of emerging, being born, or starting to develop.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
we've no less days to sing god's praise then when we first begun
i probably can’t convey this eloquently, but there is a beautiful truth i found in exodus.
god instructs moses to bring the children of israel out of egypt. moses and god squabble back and forth, moses contends he is unworthy etc., and then god throws out the, “i am” answer. you’d think that would end the conversation, how can you argue with that? but moses persists.
when moses and aaron finally man up to go to pharaoh, they simply request to be let go for a feast (chapter 5). feasts last for three days. i don’t quite understand if they were merely asking for three days of freedom or if that implied perpetual freedom after.
out of apprehension of our own inadequacy or the fear that god wont show up for some reason-- i wonder what moses’ intentions were when god called him clearly to so much more. moses cowardly asks for only three days when god envisioned a lifetime of freedom for the children of israel.
i have to read the text closer. but what i got from it is that god has really big plans for us, and we settle far too easily. so are the setbacks (i.e. having frogs and gnats literally in every square inch of their personal space) a result of our unfaithfulness? or are they worked into the plan because god had plans to affect a lot more people (i.e. phararoh and his hardened heart or the magicians who recognized the finger of god) through the plagues and setbacks?
i’ve had a lot of encouragement in what i have set out to do to follow a vision i feel god has given me. i’ve been blessed with really great people in my life who offer gratification freely and reassure the fact that you can trust god. if he calls you to something, he will follow through. i was scared of rejection and inadequacy. even though its only the beginning, i hope that this idea of intentional community will grow and i will be able to take more steps towards the type of intense community i long for. i see that god will see me through. and i should continue to take scary steps. amen.
god instructs moses to bring the children of israel out of egypt. moses and god squabble back and forth, moses contends he is unworthy etc., and then god throws out the, “i am” answer. you’d think that would end the conversation, how can you argue with that? but moses persists.
when moses and aaron finally man up to go to pharaoh, they simply request to be let go for a feast (chapter 5). feasts last for three days. i don’t quite understand if they were merely asking for three days of freedom or if that implied perpetual freedom after.
out of apprehension of our own inadequacy or the fear that god wont show up for some reason-- i wonder what moses’ intentions were when god called him clearly to so much more. moses cowardly asks for only three days when god envisioned a lifetime of freedom for the children of israel.
i have to read the text closer. but what i got from it is that god has really big plans for us, and we settle far too easily. so are the setbacks (i.e. having frogs and gnats literally in every square inch of their personal space) a result of our unfaithfulness? or are they worked into the plan because god had plans to affect a lot more people (i.e. phararoh and his hardened heart or the magicians who recognized the finger of god) through the plagues and setbacks?
i’ve had a lot of encouragement in what i have set out to do to follow a vision i feel god has given me. i’ve been blessed with really great people in my life who offer gratification freely and reassure the fact that you can trust god. if he calls you to something, he will follow through. i was scared of rejection and inadequacy. even though its only the beginning, i hope that this idea of intentional community will grow and i will be able to take more steps towards the type of intense community i long for. i see that god will see me through. and i should continue to take scary steps. amen.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
hot mama jama
mama jama: 1. a woman who is built and stacked, has curves in all the right places, has perfect body measurements in every dimension, a perfect figure, extremely beautiful, sassy, classy, foxy, and heavenly. basically, a perfect woman. 2. a phrase from a carl carlton song. no one under the age of 35 should use it.
i love to cook. everything about it. i love chopping, measuring, smelling, tasting. i was so limited to my mom’s limited knowledge and my dad’s and brother’s limited palate but i’m nannying for a mom that actually cooks real meals for all her meals, for five people. helps to explain why she needs a nanny. and a maid i might add.
i’m gonna freaking love being a mom. i cannot wait to look at my kids the way this mom looks at them. its so beautiful to see how much she cares about them. its contagious.
i've been awakened to the fact that my heart also melts for boys and guitars. in conjunction with a good voice… take. me. now. but tonight i learned that i too can learn about 90% of worship songs with the four cords i know. watch out.
i am under 35. i support marketing ploys to capitalize on stevie wonder similarities. and urban dictionary.
i’m gonna freaking love being a mom. i cannot wait to look at my kids the way this mom looks at them. its so beautiful to see how much she cares about them. its contagious.
i've been awakened to the fact that my heart also melts for boys and guitars. in conjunction with a good voice… take. me. now. but tonight i learned that i too can learn about 90% of worship songs with the four cords i know. watch out.
i am under 35. i support marketing ploys to capitalize on stevie wonder similarities. and urban dictionary.
grow old with me.
“o, my Lord, i am not eloquent” exodus 4
i just read acts 2 and it has the award for consistency in its goosebump giving abilities. currenently its my favorite passage. along with everything to do with moses.
i realize again how i am unworthy to be loved. it is a miracle that i have friends. really. loving god really only requires clarity. he’s so worthy. loving each other is miraculous. friendship really is a miracle.
everything in creation is interconnected. its not incidental. this whole world was built for that intertwining; god cant even express his self in one being. and the way we relate to each other and are intertwined in each others' lives is all his doing. ugh. i can't wrap my mind around it, but am left only to worship a god that is capable of such a feat.
the exodus verse speaks to me two fold. for obvious reasons, but also because god knew this about moses and it was ok. perfection is never asked of us. shortcomings are built into the design. he heard moses' cry and he intertwined his life with aaron, so that aaron could speak on behalf of moses.
he is so worthy.
everything boils down to these relationships we have in our lives. with all different types of people. people that matter so much to him, people that he spent time kitting together. and then knit into other people's story. after all was said and done, god took the time to evaluate what he made, and we are very good. i’m so unworthy to have that approval. but like backup vocalists in a rap song, words can’t quite capture it. ugh.
my heart beats so fast for community. i can’t talk and hear enough about it.
i step back and evaluate. life is good.
i feel you moses, but i try anyway.
i just read acts 2 and it has the award for consistency in its goosebump giving abilities. currenently its my favorite passage. along with everything to do with moses.
i realize again how i am unworthy to be loved. it is a miracle that i have friends. really. loving god really only requires clarity. he’s so worthy. loving each other is miraculous. friendship really is a miracle.
everything in creation is interconnected. its not incidental. this whole world was built for that intertwining; god cant even express his self in one being. and the way we relate to each other and are intertwined in each others' lives is all his doing. ugh. i can't wrap my mind around it, but am left only to worship a god that is capable of such a feat.
the exodus verse speaks to me two fold. for obvious reasons, but also because god knew this about moses and it was ok. perfection is never asked of us. shortcomings are built into the design. he heard moses' cry and he intertwined his life with aaron, so that aaron could speak on behalf of moses.
he is so worthy.
everything boils down to these relationships we have in our lives. with all different types of people. people that matter so much to him, people that he spent time kitting together. and then knit into other people's story. after all was said and done, god took the time to evaluate what he made, and we are very good. i’m so unworthy to have that approval. but like backup vocalists in a rap song, words can’t quite capture it. ugh.
my heart beats so fast for community. i can’t talk and hear enough about it.
i step back and evaluate. life is good.
i feel you moses, but i try anyway.
allow me to introduce myself.
this is who i am at 1:47 am on thursday, july 10th when i don’t feel like sleeping.
posted now, because i don’t have internet.
i believe in dreams. i believe in letting them be known. not only to others, but to yourself. i want to learn how to play the piano. i want to learn how to take excellent pictures. i want to see 1000 places before i die. i’m serious about changing the world. i want to transcribe the whole bible. i struggle with fully grasping what i mean to god. i don’t like justify alignment. i want to live in a community house. even when i’m married. i cry at weddings. i’ve successfully worn heels once in my life. i’ve also only tried once. i want my wedding to be a huge party. with a photo booth as my sole wedding gift, so i can have it at the wedding and then have it stationed at my front door. with cork board filling the hallway. i want to shop at thrift stores to furnish the rest of my house. i want to play monopoly to its completion. i love maps. i easily get distracted. one time i told a boy i was allergic to chap stick so he wouldn’t kiss me. i don’t understand hyphens at the end of a line. i want to be in africa this time next year. to take a sabbatical from my life right now and catch up on a lot of reading. to get asked to dance. i still have hopes for a garden in my backyard. at least some herbs in my kitchen window pots. i want vines covering my house and garden gate. i’m literal and concrete when communicating. abrupt and harsh. i take advantage of people. of god. i’ve gotten in trouble with the cops because of water balloons three many more times than a average person should. i miss younglife camps. i want to mean what my mentor means to me to someone else someday. i want to wakeboard like a pro. i want to own everything in williams & sonoma. i like “&s.” i like lists. punctuation. apologetics. habakkuk 1:5. i love meeting new people. love being at summit. but i’m learning that summit isn’t the only one who’s gotten it right. and that’s healthy for me, being in a hunter bubble my whole christian life. i want to ride a giraffe. i believe love is everything it’s cracked up to be. and i’ll see the love i give returned to me. wrinkle release saves my life. kim mcmanus is a new hero. i missed my long hair today. swings make me dizzy. my favorite park is seaworld. i can’t remember the last time i’ve been. i like working out details. i live in a world of possibilities. it takes longer for me to clean my room than to mess it up again. i’m trying to grow up. and down. simultaneously.
i believe impossibilities are god's opportunities. i believe in taking steps in order that the cliche things i may say are genuinely not cliche, but lived out.
i’m was up far too late.
posted now, because i don’t have internet.
i believe in dreams. i believe in letting them be known. not only to others, but to yourself. i want to learn how to play the piano. i want to learn how to take excellent pictures. i want to see 1000 places before i die. i’m serious about changing the world. i want to transcribe the whole bible. i struggle with fully grasping what i mean to god. i don’t like justify alignment. i want to live in a community house. even when i’m married. i cry at weddings. i’ve successfully worn heels once in my life. i’ve also only tried once. i want my wedding to be a huge party. with a photo booth as my sole wedding gift, so i can have it at the wedding and then have it stationed at my front door. with cork board filling the hallway. i want to shop at thrift stores to furnish the rest of my house. i want to play monopoly to its completion. i love maps. i easily get distracted. one time i told a boy i was allergic to chap stick so he wouldn’t kiss me. i don’t understand hyphens at the end of a line. i want to be in africa this time next year. to take a sabbatical from my life right now and catch up on a lot of reading. to get asked to dance. i still have hopes for a garden in my backyard. at least some herbs in my kitchen window pots. i want vines covering my house and garden gate. i’m literal and concrete when communicating. abrupt and harsh. i take advantage of people. of god. i’ve gotten in trouble with the cops because of water balloons three many more times than a average person should. i miss younglife camps. i want to mean what my mentor means to me to someone else someday. i want to wakeboard like a pro. i want to own everything in williams & sonoma. i like “&s.” i like lists. punctuation. apologetics. habakkuk 1:5. i love meeting new people. love being at summit. but i’m learning that summit isn’t the only one who’s gotten it right. and that’s healthy for me, being in a hunter bubble my whole christian life. i want to ride a giraffe. i believe love is everything it’s cracked up to be. and i’ll see the love i give returned to me. wrinkle release saves my life. kim mcmanus is a new hero. i missed my long hair today. swings make me dizzy. my favorite park is seaworld. i can’t remember the last time i’ve been. i like working out details. i live in a world of possibilities. it takes longer for me to clean my room than to mess it up again. i’m trying to grow up. and down. simultaneously.
i believe impossibilities are god's opportunities. i believe in taking steps in order that the cliche things i may say are genuinely not cliche, but lived out.
i’m was up far too late.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
an answer to jesus' prayer
dear blogspot,
will you be my accountability partner?
love,
shannon
yes?
great.
in a staff meeting we were sharing what we have been learning lately and one person shared that one thing from sunday's sermon has been sticking with him all week. why do i feel so convicted about everything lately? well. this time it was because i had so easily forgotten this thing that he quoted, even though it really did resonate with me sunday, it had easily fleeted as soon as i passed through the sanctuary doors. tragic. so my question is how do i make things stick around longer in between my ears when it has the tendency to enter and exit so quickly. i think that i… generalized to people in general, need to meditate a little more on what we hear, in particular sunday sermons. but expanded to what we read too. writing out the bible has helped me so much with this. to slow down. reading the psalms too. i have been rereading some of the same ones constantly. whenever i get a free minute. my soul needs it right now. but to my surprise (which is shameful), i am able to glean something new from the same verses every time. it doesn’t loose its refreshing abilities. god is so freaking beautifully talented. so, as a challenge to myself i shall talk more about sunday sermons during the week, look back on the notes i write, wrestle with it, take the things said and a.p.p.l.y. them, to create and take applicable steps in new and creative ways… to somehow make it stay in between a little longer so that my heart and therefore my actions can have a little extra time to grab hold.
i appreciate it blogspot.
will you be my accountability partner?
love,
shannon
yes?
great.
in a staff meeting we were sharing what we have been learning lately and one person shared that one thing from sunday's sermon has been sticking with him all week. why do i feel so convicted about everything lately? well. this time it was because i had so easily forgotten this thing that he quoted, even though it really did resonate with me sunday, it had easily fleeted as soon as i passed through the sanctuary doors. tragic. so my question is how do i make things stick around longer in between my ears when it has the tendency to enter and exit so quickly. i think that i… generalized to people in general, need to meditate a little more on what we hear, in particular sunday sermons. but expanded to what we read too. writing out the bible has helped me so much with this. to slow down. reading the psalms too. i have been rereading some of the same ones constantly. whenever i get a free minute. my soul needs it right now. but to my surprise (which is shameful), i am able to glean something new from the same verses every time. it doesn’t loose its refreshing abilities. god is so freaking beautifully talented. so, as a challenge to myself i shall talk more about sunday sermons during the week, look back on the notes i write, wrestle with it, take the things said and a.p.p.l.y. them, to create and take applicable steps in new and creative ways… to somehow make it stay in between a little longer so that my heart and therefore my actions can have a little extra time to grab hold.
i appreciate it blogspot.
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