a scribe asked jesus what the most important commandment was, and jesus says to love god and then to love others as you love yourself, the scribe agreed and the jesus says, "You are not far from the kingdom of God."
meaning that the economy of the kingdom of god is all about relationships. the sum total of our lives will be measured in the relationships we have and how we treat them. that you can gauge where you are by the quality of your relationships. edwin mcmanus told me straight up that i wasn't ok today, and he was right. you can say that you're doing alright but when you honestly evaluate and you have no substantial, meaningful friendships, edwin says no sir. you are not ok.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
somewhere over the rainbow
what if we stop having a ball
what if the paint chips from the wall
what if there's always cups in the sink
what if i'm not what you think
what if i fall further than you
what if you dream of somebody new
what if i never let you in
chase you with a rolling pin
well, what if I do
cause I am giving up
on making passes
and i am giving up
on half empty glasses
and i am giving up
on greener grasses
i am giving
i am giving up
on greener grasses
i am giving up for you
what if the paint chips from the wall
what if there's always cups in the sink
what if i'm not what you think
what if i fall further than you
what if you dream of somebody new
what if i never let you in
chase you with a rolling pin
well, what if I do
cause I am giving up
on making passes
and i am giving up
on half empty glasses
and i am giving up
on greener grasses
i am giving
i am giving up
on greener grasses
i am giving up for you
humbled.
i’m discovering how ugly my soul is when left to its own devices. i was overwhelmed in a worship set of an ordination service of all places by how much i suck. its astonishing how much i walk around assuming by default that i don’t suck. ‘i didn’t do anything blatantly wrong’ so… i must not suck. right? ….right? it’s a beautiful thing to be humbled by god. to finally catch a glimpse of his glory through my hardened heart. i’m really bad at loving people. i’m really good at pretending like i can. decent at talking and thinking about it. really good at judging other people for not. i’m really ugly on the inside.
moved.
moving to a new place. i’ve asked for it basically since i found out that part of growing up was moving out of your parent’s house. i used to make plans to grow up and move to california. never of course thinking of what i would do there to provide for myself, that was never apart my childhood dreams. passion for a beautiful place and new experience was enough for me to pick up and move everything. i can mark periods of my life by where i wanted to move. california, any of the ‘southern’ states, africa, boston for a while, seatlle for a brief period, portland for slightly longer. now that i’ve finally moved out of a twenty mile radius, i’ve realized that i’ve idealized moving to a new place. duh. i naturally try to stay within the confines of a child’s mind. worries get in the way of action.
i went to a ‘faith & art symposium’ tonight, the guy said at one point that artists have chosen to harness the creativity and imagination that children innately have. when left in a room, children will sing a song, draw, create, imagine and that we as artists tap into that. i really liked tonight. i liked being encouraged by people to create. i liked to see what people were creating and to hear what they had to say about it. my mind starts racing and my heart beats faster at the thought of this night becoming my lifestyle. i feel like i waste a gift, given to me from god, to create. i think i have a lot to learn, and i’m not trying to be pompous when i say any of this. i don’t know how to visually convey the ideas in my head. but i need to allow myself to be left in a room and let my mind wonder. ok, this isn’t the point, the point is that not only do i need to create for that is how god wired me, but that i want to encourage others, i want to create a place for that creatively to naturally flow and it can be harnessed and expressed.
i was reading exodus and the story of bezelal and the building of the tabernacle is what originally sparked this flame within me. gosh its beautiful. but i didn’t intend for this post to be about that… focus. i just got this vision of having a place, a warehouse type thing i imagined, with different areas to inspire and to create. coffee is the starting point for all great work right? so to create a space to initiate ideas and to talk and inspire and bounce off ideas, colaborate.. couches, tables, desks to facilitate that. large tables to spread out in. an area to research, books, history books, poetry, music, art books, art hanging. and then i wanted an artists’ space for actual creation. blocked out spaces for artists to rent maybe, whatever the case, i would love to provide a space to give people the opportunity to start. to finish. to get past whatever cop out, excuse, or stumbling block that disallows them to use a gift, to tell a story, to illustrate their human experience.
anyway, moving is tough and i miss my friends. i value the community that i had there and the support provided. the growth they spurred, lessons learned. my family, i love them. i’ve never realized how much until i’ve moved away.
i went to a ‘faith & art symposium’ tonight, the guy said at one point that artists have chosen to harness the creativity and imagination that children innately have. when left in a room, children will sing a song, draw, create, imagine and that we as artists tap into that. i really liked tonight. i liked being encouraged by people to create. i liked to see what people were creating and to hear what they had to say about it. my mind starts racing and my heart beats faster at the thought of this night becoming my lifestyle. i feel like i waste a gift, given to me from god, to create. i think i have a lot to learn, and i’m not trying to be pompous when i say any of this. i don’t know how to visually convey the ideas in my head. but i need to allow myself to be left in a room and let my mind wonder. ok, this isn’t the point, the point is that not only do i need to create for that is how god wired me, but that i want to encourage others, i want to create a place for that creatively to naturally flow and it can be harnessed and expressed.
i was reading exodus and the story of bezelal and the building of the tabernacle is what originally sparked this flame within me. gosh its beautiful. but i didn’t intend for this post to be about that… focus. i just got this vision of having a place, a warehouse type thing i imagined, with different areas to inspire and to create. coffee is the starting point for all great work right? so to create a space to initiate ideas and to talk and inspire and bounce off ideas, colaborate.. couches, tables, desks to facilitate that. large tables to spread out in. an area to research, books, history books, poetry, music, art books, art hanging. and then i wanted an artists’ space for actual creation. blocked out spaces for artists to rent maybe, whatever the case, i would love to provide a space to give people the opportunity to start. to finish. to get past whatever cop out, excuse, or stumbling block that disallows them to use a gift, to tell a story, to illustrate their human experience.
anyway, moving is tough and i miss my friends. i value the community that i had there and the support provided. the growth they spurred, lessons learned. my family, i love them. i’ve never realized how much until i’ve moved away.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)