reiterate

you provoked the lord to wrath.. you did not believe.. you did not obey his voice.. you are a stubborn people.. the lord wanted to destroy you.. he was angry with you.. you have been rebellious against the lord from the day that I knew you. 

that's just taken from one chapter in deuteronomy. it's throughout the whole story of israel's exodus. why then are these his choosen people?

it gives me comfort that we are failures. god knows that about us, his choosen people are people that disappointed him. why did he make it that way.

i don't know if this is related to israel's sin but surely part of it. i get most upset at people when i have preconcieved notions of how the person should act, what they should do, or what they should say. i get upset in the moment that they're not being my puppet, and they have no clue what just happened.  

hypothetically. when i'm driving over to someones house to pick something up and i'm thinking innocently, oh i could go in and grab something else and give them some music that they've been wanting while i'm there. but then, heaven forbid, they come out and give me the thing i came for and i get upset. like they somehow knew the plan i'd come up with in the five minutes after getting off the phone, and maliciously went against it. i never communicate that i have an idea, can i come in real quick, just become defeated and silent, crushed. what? that's absolutely ridiculous. it happens so fast, i don't realize till after. 

i pray for communication skills. 

the people of israel can certainly relate in their false or selfish expectations from god. they thought the had their journey all figured out. and surely i do that to god and, altough not examined by moses, surely they dealt with selfish expectations of others in everyday life. it's got to be a condition of the human heart.  

we think we're right. all the time. we know the best way for things to play out. surely.    

i pray for humility.