disservice

i picked back up a book by brennan manning. i record in hopes that i remember a little later in life. in ten days or so.

"our deepest need is for the inexhaustible power of the love of christ. the miracle of christianity is that the need is already met.

"what jesus longs to see in radical disciples is what he saw in little children: a spirit of sheer receptivity, utter dependence, and radical reliance on the power and mercy and grace of God mediated through the spirit of christ. 'apart from me you can do nothing'"

nothing. we cannot even desire god. it requires surrendering daily... daily. to. die. daily. to self-centeredness in all its forms, including self-promotion and self-condemnation. it can't be taken lightly. there is nothing about the life of christ which was mediocre. to follow him is to live and think radically. i realize that i have taken it very lightly in the past few months. not in the past couple days, but months. and i know it would be an extreme disservice if i allowed myself to be with someone who didn't take it seriously. we are not given an 'out' because we're sinners. we are not called to less. we are nothing without him. but that just means i have to rely on him more. not make excuses. how can i expect any relationship, any pursuit, anything, to be fruitful without him.

i love the urgency and seriousness and honesty that you can hear in manning's words. i love his insistence that says it is not a man’s words that measure his faith, but his actions. this stirs my heart. i feel more free. more able. less bound.